I'll be the last thing on your mind

For a while I couldn't even look at you

I didn't know what to think or what to do

Disgusted and disappointed because of how I felt for you

Later finding out that none of it was based on truth.

A good heart laid on the floor for you!

And you dragged it along no matter what it took

Using me at your expense to get a kick or two?!

Yet keeping me close while my foolish feelings grew.

I'm worth so much more than what you make of me

One day you will fall again and then you will see

I did not deserve the way you treated me 

And karma will burn your "perfect" world before you can count to three.

But I can't deny how much you mean to me

Like a favorite drug, my heart always goes back to you indeed

Although you're a poison, I can never say no

I can't imagine the day that I'll finally let go.

And after so much thinking, I now allow myself to see

That I will always love you

For the person that you truly are...

Not who you pretended to be.

As the floods move in
And your body starts to sink
I'll be the last thing on your mind
I know you better than you think
'Cause it's simple darling, I gave you a warning
Soon everything you own will fall from the sky in pieces
So watch them fall with you, in slow motion
I'll pray that you find peace of mind
And I'll find you another time

I'll love you, another time....

Ashes on the ground......

I can't help but feel sad sometimes

and morn the loss of what I almost had. (so close....)

I didn't give it all I had in me

To just have it all slip from my hands.

Maybe I made things too easy.

I didn't even put up a fight.

And although the odds were against us

In my heart it just felt right. (so right...)

If I could go back to change it all

And prevent these memories so vivid.

I wonder if I would do anything differently

Or willingly fall at your feet again and re-live it.

If your heart at one point claimed me

I wish you would have told me...

I would have held your hand and never let it go

Hugged you, kissed you, like no other did before.

Now all I have is a list of regrets

And hopes that won't be found
Stored away in this burning heart
(Will you ever save me?)

 Or are we ashes on the ground?.....

Just live.

Has my life seen that much darkness?

That my heart only seems to know pain.

Not even sleep heals this derangement.

Who killed my dream?

My lyrics only speak of sadness.

A melody that only plays through weakness.

My voice makes sound although I'm breathless.

What helps me sing?

I can't give up, I have to fight.

But through my tears I lose my sight.

My strength is slowly parting from me.

When will I win?

I'm always falling, sometimes drowning.

The world keeps crashing down around me.

My body feels so heavy, I try to lift me.

Where are my wings?

No God To Save Me

I've never cried so much before

Or felt such a consuming pain

My soul never felt so empty

A fire burning through my veins.

At times I couldn't breath

Sometimes I wished I didn't

No one deserves this feeling

But, every day I seem to live it.

What have I done so bad?!

To have this thing take over me

Live with love in my heart?

Is that really that awful? Honestly?!!!

I can't help but feel anger!!

And become frustrated with myself.

It is my fault I am found here

Can't really blame anyone else.

My thoughts stop making sense

The walls can't be any louder

My sanity is breaking.

The darkness taking all my power.

I wipe my tears but they keep falling

My voice is gone from all the crying.

No one around, don't need to hold it

I've lost this time, my cards are folded.

I try to sit up but this force keeps me down.

I try to scream but there's no sound.

I hold my chest to stop the "bleeding"

To find my heart no longer beating!

I'm scared, confused, this can't possibly be.

The hurt in my heart must have finally killed me.

Somehow I get up, maybe from all the terror.

And there's my reflection in front of the mirror.

I guess I'm alive but I don't believe it.

As long as I carry this with me this isn't living....

Checkmate ;)

He says I'm only a pawn in his game.. I say I'm the queen.

My position is steady, my abilities unseen

I like to stand real close, I shall protect my "king"

By my side he knows he's safe, he doesn't know my sting.

See, he thinks he has control, unaware of who I am

but soon this game will end and he then will understand.

I was never by your side. In fact I kept my d i s t a n c e

Your hand I was never holding, a field of pieces stand between us.

There's a reason why I know your eyes so well, they never left my sight.

To you I may seem quiet, but to me YOU have no fight.

A king can have as many pawns, a pair of nights and bishops too.

Rooks might make a difference, until the queen steps in and makes her move.

So let me clarify things for you, 
because you must have "us" misunderstood.

You are nothing without me, you have no right to pick or choose.

So here are the rules nice and simple, easy as can be.

You will move when I move, step when I step, you listen to ME!

You think you can outsmart me, how cute a thinking fool

Oh look the fool is dancing 
I'm coming straight for you.

You will always be worthless once you stand alone.

and you will only have yourself to blame

Your cheap crown is just too big to let you see....

The queen is the most valuable piece in the game.

Stuck On You

Like nothing I have experienced before,

I am drawn to you like a magnet

I can't seem to pull away,

no matter how hard i try to forget.

That you're the beat in my heart,

the reason why I smile

Even though you bring me pain

You make this hurt worth while.

I've never felt so alive,

than I do when I am with you.

My emptiness subsides,

When I live this lie and forget our truth.

I am complete when I am with you,

not enough when we are apart.

I lost myself in your eyes.

you stole my heart from the very start.

I will never get away from this.

There is nothing I can do.

I just have to accept what is unavoidable.

My heart is stuck on you.

 

 

Not So Different

I was intrigued by how words that should be filled with pain,

came from his lips so blissfully.

I listened, and couldn't help but notice something strange.

He suddenly seemed familiar, yet again, before I've never met him.

I've seen those eyes before, it didn't make any sense.

Eyes like his I would never forget.

So I listened... The way he spoke was all too familiar.

A story so sad shouldn't sound so simple.

I looked at his eyes again and stared.

I've seen those eyes before....

It all made sense from that very moment.

As if he had told his story a thousand times,

or maybe went over it a thousand times by himself.

It all just seemed too easy.

Almost as if he had practiced it.

More than I practiced myself.

See I've seen those eyes before,

the ones that hide away the pain.

They fool you for a moment

if you're too stupid to take notice.

And I didn't realize then, that the story he was sharing

would be the reason why I will later be defeated.

I didn't know then, that today my efforts would be meaningless.

But we are not so different him and I
Because I've seen those eyes before,

I've seen them in myself...